Radical Approach to Normalizing Food Consumption

Binge eating means that I will eat a whole pizza and a half gallon of ice cream for dinner and want a snack of a few tacos a little later while dipping cookies to finish off the box of ice cream while the tacos cook. The crazy thing is that I don’t feel as if I am there while it is all taking place. The eating controls my thoughts and actions. Before I know it I’ve zoomed through the whole thing and I’m left ready to sleep so that I can wake up and unknowingly and do it again, sometime waking up in the middle of the night opening up the other box of ice cream in the freezer to take a few bites and fall back asleep.

I’ve found a less traditional way to counter my unacceptable way of eating, and more importantly, way of thinking. Positioning my mind to fix it, so far, it’s working.

I’m studying the thought patterns of those who have anorexia nervosa disorder.

I stumbled upon a show called Supersize vs. Superskinny. One supersize 400+ pound colossal and a superskinny 100 pound mini agree to living in “the feeding clinic” for several days to a week. A group of each, corralled wearing only their undergarments, are paired up, beginning with a reflection of their extreme physical size differences.  While they are checked into this clinic, they switch diets. The fatties – eating up to 5000 calories a day – are trading their meals for the meager 500 calories that their underweight partner generally consumes while the skinny is forced to stuff their face with a smorgasbord. The mentality it holds is quite brilliant.

Supersize vs Superskinny Episode 1

I watched these episodes for several weeks while I began to reprocess.  I started tearing my thoughts apart to see that my way of thinking caused me to leave part of myself way far behind. Pauses and gestures I observed by the superskinny placed pauses in my own mind. My old behaviours are becoming less and less desirable.  I have a stifling addiction that I have to learn to comfortably live with or otherwise face the future consequences.

A healthy lifestyle requires a handle that I – until now – never fully developed. Those who are underweight also face a huge obstacle… i don’t fully understand that obstacle … but following their thoughts and actions is helping me “get the picture”, a new healthier picture.

I don’t recommend this approach to anyone with severe mental illness. It’s important that I do not adapt to the opposing spectrum as a new addiction, but as a tool to take notes on how to reach a better self. Seems crazy at 240 pounds, but I am recognizing that it could certainly happen to anyone while observing this light.



C-Shaped Past

As I bring my mind to consciousness, the first thing i find is that my back is stiff. My calves are naturally muscular to hold my body weight, thighs, mostly normal besides the upper-inner, and arms are regular. Weight 242.2, mostly around my middle.

Ass planted in computer chair since I was 13 – tailbone tucked, shoulders hunched forward – I never noticed the slump I slowly reached. It is no wonder I ache, I am out of alignment! Constant mental reminders to straighten up swarm my mental cycles. Sitting, walking, standing, I am realigning everything. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results; I expect this is as near to insanity as it can possibly get without flowing over.

For a mental picture, rag doll roll up is helping me to experience a new feeling and release tension in between vertebrae. Namaste.



Rainbow Carrots

I don’t really like to know about things… I like to understand things, know the definition of words, collect concepts and observe new technology. I find that many or most things can be reached or accomplished by a multitude of different pathways, as we observe in life. I like to leave it that way.

Health and weight loss is no different. You can break it down into categories or plans and and put a name on it, but it all sends you to YOUR goal. I say do what makes you happy, that’s why I gave up for three days 5 days into my new diet: I had to reprocess why I wanted to lose weight in the first place, and after knowing you want something so bad and giving into the temptations that reverse the exact thing you want … really makes that garbage food redirect the pathways.

I felt sick. It felt like I put poison in my body. I forced myself to live with it even though I felt miserable… one last time before I fix it.

I bought some rainbow carrots … not a usual purchase but it did just the thing to get my mind going in new directions. Orange, purple and white. I washed them, cut the ends off and left half of the peeling on each one to see if it changed the taste (it didn’t). I steamed them, plated them and sat down with my knife and fork where I cut the large ends into small bits, and ate the small end with my hands. I made these three carrots plus about an ounce of chicken that i was preparing for chicken salad tomorrow be enough to eat for the time being… I’ve never done this before! Seems ridiculous to me, but hey, we never get anywhere new if we don’t make new choices.