I feel terrible

I came here to talk about my experience. I don’t have a good topic for today other than I hate to fail. Who doesn’t?

I can’t stop myself from eating. It’s an addiction. Anyone who doesn’t think it is, hasn’t been addicted to eating. I want to just stop. It seems like I should be able to “just stop” but it isn’t working that way. Part of my problem is that I spend too much time at home. I get cooped up in here wandering in thought and feel as if I want to eat.

For a long time, I have fought mental illness. I have a traumatic brain injury amongst some other choice jargon. Because of my struggle, I gave into my eating habits and boy are they hard to reverse. I let myself eat whatever I wanted. I ate to be happy. I ate when I was stressed. I ate just to eat. I’m guilty as an over eater hands down.

But, when I went to reverse this kindling of my life, I’m finding it tears into my happiness. I even feel a little depressed about not being able to indulge in my favorite foods. I keep pushing the thoughts in my head to remember that the changes I am making is to embark a change: weight loss. I want to be at a healthy weight more than anything else. That should be enough to quit eating bad food!!

The other obstacle I face is that I live right next door to a grocery store. Seems nice, eh? Not after you’ve slaved your mind to the store every becking call of your stomach.

All and all, I need some help here. How can I recoupe my mind to eat when I need to not just any time?


I have new hopes…

Have you ever felt as if your electronics were working against you? I HAVE! Weight Watchers is mostly over except collecting a series of recipes for my personal use. I got sick of fighting the weight watcher’s app… logging me out multiple times per day, difficult to navigate; it wasn’t worth a fight. I asked for a refund due to app dysfunction; it wasn’t just me, this was discussed during my local weight watcher meeting.. nothing, no response. Plus i was prematurely charged for an extra month of which i had to request a refund.

On the contrary, I have lost a bit of weight. Seems that time and study have been the only things contributing to my change in eating habits. Also, I got into a drunken, screaming argument with a friend (relative by marriage). A ride home from a cop and waking up the next day, I had a head change.

I rarely drink… probably because sober me keeps my mouth shut. I am generally a friendly, helpful person, even while drinking. I barely ever leave home! There’s no need to excrement that type of energy ever but it had been a long time coming. I won’t be drinking much anymore. Sometimes a heavy event can change your whole mindset. This is proof. Maybe we do need a outburst every once in awhile. I feel I can barely eat after that occurrence.

Shouldn’t have happened; glad it happened in the way it did. Nonetheless, I haven’t been craving sweets like I used to. I am going to take full advantage of this opportunity to hold this mindset and FINALLY lose the weight.

Weight: 240-ish
Goal #1: 200 lbs



Joseph’s Lavash wraps are a lifesaver. I’ve been eating them for quite some time now, but as I transition, it puts a huge smile on healthy living.

From the deep roots of Armenian culture, I feel honored to have found this production and packaging on my grocer’s shelf. Even though it was brought to me far from its origination – not to mention inauthenticity, name brand and factory processing – it adds a depth to my healthful plate of mind.

High in protein and fiber, these monsters are 10″ x 14″ – Helluva wrap! Enjoy.