It’s been a long time…

I’ve been trying the weed again. It’s much more exciting to grow a thinking structure with the weed than without, so my greatest hopes are to discuss and communicate everything of my experiences to you in the most delicate of ways.

I was a regular smoker for many years on and off through and after high school, however I feel much different than I ever have.

I’ve never felt so impacted by smoking the marijuana. It is coming clear to me that my way of life is different now, with or without marijuana. Neither bad nor good; some worse[s] and some best[s] are more extreme, specific and sometimes elaborate than than they used to be.¬†I feel myself looking for something familiar in order to see some sense of comfort but everything feels foreign. I have to make peace with this discomfort.

I find that a lot of people are still trying to make sense of what peace is. The peace sign has been overworked. We think of bright colors and children (as your average american) instead of how we intend of pursue it. If all you have in front of you is right now, then that’s we have what we have to work with.

We have now. We have the choice to leave our old thinking patterns in the trash can. We can do that.

 

I have new hopes…

Have you ever felt as if your electronics were working against you? I HAVE! Weight Watchers is mostly over except collecting a series of recipes for my personal use. I got sick of fighting the weight watcher’s app… logging me out multiple times per day, difficult to navigate; it wasn’t worth a fight. I asked for a refund due to app dysfunction; it wasn’t just me, this was discussed during my local weight watcher meeting.. nothing, no response. Plus i was prematurely charged for an extra month of which i had to request a refund.

On the contrary, I have lost a bit of weight. Seems that time and study have been the only things contributing to my change in eating habits. Also, I got into a drunken, screaming argument with a friend (relative by marriage). A ride home from a cop and waking up the next day, I had a head change.

I rarely drink… probably because sober me keeps my mouth shut. I am¬†generally a friendly, helpful person, even while drinking. I barely ever leave home! There’s no need to excrement that type of energy ever but it had been a long time coming. I won’t be drinking much anymore. Sometimes a heavy event can change your whole mindset. This is proof. Maybe we do need a outburst every once in awhile. I feel I can barely eat after that occurrence.

Shouldn’t have happened; glad it happened in the way it did. Nonetheless, I haven’t been craving sweets like I used to. I am going to take full advantage of this opportunity to hold this mindset and FINALLY lose the weight.

Weight: 240-ish
Goal #1: 200 lbs